At work today and I thought the boss had gone home so I went over to the stereo and cranked up the drum and bass, I turned around doing my best badass drum and bass moves as my boss walked in. It was an enjoyable 10 seconds of badboy tunes.

RememberThisIsAworkPlaceLAD

My mum was playing around on the Pc trying to make a birthday card for her friend (cheap I know). It would have been fine but somehow when looking for a suitable image she ended up looking in the temporary internet files folder. I don’t think teen facials was the kind of image she was after.

ItWasn’tmeMumISwearLAD

I had a missed call at 9:40 this morning from a blocked number. Turns out it was a client chasing me about work! Think i need a new job LAD

The last couple of mornings I have been in the bathroom brushing my teeth I have spotted the next door neighbour doing her morning exercises naked! Squeaky clean teeth LAD

New cleaner just arrived, she’s very old but was definitely a hottie when she was younger. DoYouHaveADaugherLAD

My mate is staying in tonight, he said “I’m just going to sit in my room and try it out with a pack of ham and a cricket glove”. InbetweenerWankLAD

This goes out to every lad that gets a massive urge to play old-school retro games and proceeds to pay way over the odds for Sega and SNES games on eBay. GoldenEyeLAD

Pep Guardiola has been linked with the vacant Liverpool managers job. Well, he did say he needs a break from football.

Back in the day when dido was still on the radio I went into HMV with my mum and she asked the lady at the till if they had the latest Dildo release. My mum couldn’t understand what was so funny.

shouldOfGotThe12″LAD

Nasri tells French TV that Arsenal should ‘celebrate their third place achievement’, while he ‘focuses on winning titles’. Na na na na na na na na na, Nasri is a cunt is a cunt Nasri is a cuntLAD

Scored this lovely lass at a house party about a week ago, we started chatting about how weird the party food tasted. Later I managed to maneuver her into the sack and it all went off brilliantly until she slips her lips straight on to third base.

So I could always feel the stuff building inside me but as soon as she starts to really go at it, everything comes rushing to the surface.

I can barely hold it in, and eventually I just grab a hold of her face, throw her off the bed, fling myself across the room and into the loo where i projectile vomit into the basin.

She’d left by the time I cleaned up.

BlueBalledLAD

Went out with work the other day, it was friday and we drank from midday till I left at about 10. I had to get to my girlfriends parents house. I got to Waterloo station somehow, but when I got there I really needed a piss. I had no change so had to run out the back of the station. I was lucky not to be arrested, the fact that I had piss all down my jeans wasn’t so lucky.

IsmeltLikeATrampLAD